Be a bench-warmer

I thought it was just a high school thing. One of "the boys" goes on a date and the next day the rest of the boys heckle him "so, did you get to first base?" (this phrase is usually accompanied by a cheeky nudge in the ribs). Apparently it's not just a high school thing. One of my "not-so-Catholic" friends, upon hearing I'm in a relationship, whipped out his nudging elbow and with a cheeky grin he asked "so, have you gotten past first base yet?"

For those not familiar, the "four bases" were adapted from the game of baseball to measure how far you've gone in a relationship. In more explicit terms, each base represents a physical interaction, with "home base" being....well, I think you get the idea.

Illustration of a baseball diamond

I don't want to embarrass my girlfriend, so this is the point in the post where I switch to a different story and begin to embellish my point......

I first started playing basketball as a five year old and I remember spending considerable amounts of time sitting on the bench. I was still learning the rules, the fundamentals and the finer intricacies of the game. While I was learning I was relegated to the role of bench-warmer. But sitting on the bench for so long allowed me to spectate, it allowed me to learn from those more experienced than me, it allowed me to grow in my understanding of how things work. Do you see where I'm going here?

When we talk about experience and wisdom we tend to place higher value on action and experience. For me I know that I would rather be a part of the action than to watch and learn first. Part of learning is observing, watching and listening. We don't always have to be in the action to be learning. As I explained to my friend, I'm bench-warming in my relationship so I can get to know my girlfriend before I get to know my girlfriend.

Sometimes you just got to take a step back and see the bigger picture. Sometimes you just got to sit on the bench until the coach (i.e. God) calls you into the game.