My motivation was a free afternoon. I'd decided that if I could get my work done I could go down to the beach and have some desperately needed chill time. Cue the ominous gray clouds. Now I wasn't motivated about studying or going to the beach. Mood killed. By the time I got my work done it had started raining and it wasn't looking like letting up anytime soon. Defs not beach weather. So what did I do? I went anyway.
By the time I'd driven down there my right arm was noticeably more tan than my left, my petrol tank was significantly lower than when I started and the beach was closed. So I sat there and just watched. I admired the melancholic way the heavy gray clouds hugged the surging waters. It was mesmerising. Nothing could draw my attention away, not even the deliriously giggly tourist group or the strange, lonely man scouring the beach with his metal detector. As I sat there, pelted by piercing rain and swept up in the chilling wind it made perfect sense for me to be there.
I want my life to make sense. Reason makes sense to me. Driving into the middle of a storm (ok, so it was only a bit of rain) to sit on a closed beach, being pelted by rain and wind doesn't make sense to me. But things don't always make sense in God's plan. Sometimes I need to get away from what makes sense to me (as discomforting and unsettling as that is for me) to be where I actually need to be: where God wants me to be. It can be messy, but God calls the whole person - even the messy, stormy, hidden, uncomfortable, unsorted parts. A bit like driving to the beach on a wet, windy day.
Sometimes in life things don't make sense us, but I bet it makes sense to God.